Expression at the Age of 21

Skip to the point. 9900 AU /= 15000 AU

Hey, buddy, there is a big gap there. Should you ignore it? 600 + 3000 + 2400 = 6000 + 9900 - 1400 = 14500.00 OMG still 500 short. Problematic, if you ask me.
Yes, I made my mind. I am going to run it only once again at 2399.00 That is all. Considering what 2399 can buy, it's still impressive. Sydney Buyers.

A plan is needed to catch the job. 1/2 hour dedicated to job hunting? Maybe. Priority again. Burden, and work commitment.

I am panting and sweating of the day. Summer came in just one day. "If I call you one more time and you say no, I am not going to call you ever again." - Rod, even though it's rational, hard to take it. Plus irrational nights before creates perfectly bad mood before turning 22. I began to feel a huge tide is coming.

270000 didn't last long in the movie world. 1 day for movie is quite nothing. Now it's close to finish, I am satisfied. Aileen's mum is Chinese. That means she is half Chinese, oh my God. Um, you sure about that?

Hey, hey: Does anyone know Bohan's Camera is missing? 12:35AM I still can't find it. It is sort of werid to think that it is actually possibly being stolen. Um...Not a nice thought. It brought me down quite for a whie.

News Flash: I met Nat's Bf after the show. Wow, wow. Nat's got a bf, I should know earlier. Wah. Um, let me think what to say. (Queensland)

Alien's mix-blood. Haha, that explains everything as well. It is a tough crowd night, but with confidence we did well. Now, ultimate choice, now party or wake up in your own bed. I chose the later option. Now I am at home blogging. That's nerdy. Have I told you that I chase the rabit and missed my bus.

Talking to Jenny just then. You guessed it, haha, not coming. Um... not good. That's supportive is it? Reasoning again with Caroline is not fun after you discover a possible theft in the afternoon + miss the bus. De Er: International Speaking like Pirate Day.

CAMERA, yes what if it is really stolen. I AM VERY HAPPY I CAN GET A NEW ONE. You really think so. No. Well the truth is I did cry a bit after watching my own movie. It's not because it's that moving, it's because I want to cry. So many to do, so little time. I wonder why I am here blogging. With increasing number of people starting reading my blog. I have another ultimate choice to make : private or public blog.

I like Nat you see. But she's got a bf. - such statement, if seen by A -> B -> CDE -> ALL
Um... problematic. That also makes the blog less explicit. (Recall: album labels, containing explicit language) Is she hot? Do you want to go her?

22, I am not as young as many thought. Last night's massage with Jo is funny. Geek. Have you finished everything you wish to say.

Temporary, to understand some movies, you have to know no matter how many pain you are suffering, lost your camera, hurt your knees, you have to perform on stage super happy. Explicitly, the audience don't give a fuck. More explicitly, the director might say SHIT, we lost one cast member if you hit by a car (let me elaborate the point a little bit better, when you hit by a car, the first thing came to their mind MIGHT be we lost a cast member rather than you died). Wait wait, that's way to explicit. But that is true in some respect. Something you don't put on your mouth didn't mean you don't think about it. People have their concerns.

Now I know what Rinka is talking about, sometimes you feel people is selfish. That's something we all have to deal with, that's probably why have close friends who can care about you like they care about themselves is precious.

What you want to do with the Camera? No one to blame, right. I start to concern what covers my eyes now is revue and glorious crowd in the seats. Once it's all over. Hey hey, I got to know big brother even further now. Revue is bit like big brother. once it's finished, we all have to get back to our real life.

New point, when you lost your camera, by default you are down. Once in a show enviroment is not that popular to be unhappy. Well what can you do, sometimes no one can control it, that's why someone invented 'pretend to be happy', and we do it all the time. Night, about to make my tear-generating film due next Friday Night.

Before I was not sure why people getting closer so fast in big brother. Now I understand, just look back Training Days 1 is only 15 days away from now, I already found myself bond with many people in the revue, not to mention the 3 months big-brother. (and plus they live together all 24hours)

What you call it speed intimacy. It's cool. Whatever.

The massage last night with Jo is entirely funny. As Jo described, 'he sat on my ass and completely creamed me...' and guess what people video taped it, that is quite cool. Bex get hurt, it is great spirit she is still performing in the end. The video Laurie and Lizzie took is astounding. THen I get to find out who pushed my hands down in the final posing time, it was Nat. I felt myself being less considerate, I should only use one hand and only one hand to pose, or otherwise I will block someone like Nat. Ok, here is the hard part, shall I tell Nat that I am sorry for blocking her, actually I did not. I will, go things like 'um... oh, Nat I watched the video last night, block.. blah. that'll do.'

Sammy's mortol bike is cool, Lily enjoyed it quite much. After join the revue kissing hugging people become more common to me. Wow, that is a change for good.

Up to the CSE revue reloaded and revealed, many great ideas came to my mind, I want to ensure it happens on the day 27th Sep.

it will publish instantly. Lily is new to this area.

Last night's show is hit as I mentioned before. Now there are 557 hits ans 20 visitors to my site. That's sweet, the power of the group. Last night I had an idea of extra bit of the HASTWBB, I am not sure if it's going to get proved. But anyway I will stry.

The second night is even better than the first one, we all can see it. That makes me high. It makes everyone high. The audience simply gives better responses this time. I was a little nervous, but my Happy Asian Sing Time with Bo Bo went well, audience starts singing which is funny.

Kosol, if you are reading this, I have to tell you that you are very naughty passing the link address to Becks. It is really a mixed feeling here, it's sweet that someone else knows your inside world like Becks, however I still feel slightly embarassed. Kosol, you hear me? Naughty.

Back to the revue, it is just gets better, I am really happy for it. Harold is likely to come as well, that'll be fantastic.

Here is the observation log, as I didn't get the chance to finish last night as I am very tired. That is the natrual step, what do you do after the revue. Last night I was rushing out to see my friends, when I see none I felt left alone, even though al the cast members cheers me up, but really when you see 5 or 6 circles people talking and you can find none.

This theory further applies to tonight, when aim walks out, she look around for her friends, she saw none. She frawned, I understand perfectly. I wish to cheer her up, and I know how. I pass her the photo, she looks just cute in it, she surely smiled, I am happy too.

One day when my friends is coming on Thursday it'll be a great night for me. I so much want to get the video finished by that date, but the question is how. Good one hey. um, let me think. THe murder case makes me shiever.

Last night it was fantastic, people applause, my blood goes high. Esp the Happy Asian Sing Along Time with Bobo.
That is absolutely a hit. Around 3pm K7 called me wish to see me, at the same time Caroline is expected to see me at the same time. Then I have to make a choice. It seems that I have made the right choice. Miss UNSW is cut, when they told me, but the solo singing really attrracts me, soon 4pm then we started doing it, it all makes sense. I am nervous in the beginning then on stage, here I am. It was a success, people pat on me after I got off stage, it was such a great feeling. Thanks to Sammy for his suit. But as I can perceived, the suit is expensive, he probably. Then after the show, it's the seeing parents time. But the diertor requires us to remove makeups before we can go out. Then in a huge hurry i went to wash my face off, then I saw Keivin, (insert: when I say lights up, I can actually see everyone's face in the adcidnece) that is cool as well, even keivn came, that does surprise me. It was great feeling with everyone filled in the theatre. Have to go now, have assignment due soon.

It seems that Luke is leaving Annie not because that they are unhappy just because he doesn't like Annie that much. Eh-Eh. That makes me feel strong symposy towards Annie esp after she told me that ' maybe he will come back to me' That statement is enough to make me cry. Really like in the movie. Ok, now it back to Caroline, natually one might suggest.

The situation is different, as blah, blah and blah. The end.

Suprise, surprise.

Chatting with Annie occasionally. Found out she broke up with Luke as well. And Luke's reason is quite shocking described as, in the beginning Luke feels lonely that's why he asks Annie out, but then now he has new friends, feels nothing to say to Annie.

Well then I told Annie, count myself, I know three couples breaking up this months. Choices I have to make this year, it seeming not entriely satisfy in the direction of my life esp that 2900AU, I still don't have a clue when can I get them back.

Yet I know I wish to keep myself happy and healthy, things will become better evntually at least on the physical layer. What more can I say.

The moon makes me realise it is so beautiful in little bay. Just a small surbub in sydney yet beautiful, magnificient. That's right, sometimes I felt something like that exactly hard to capture.

There are so many great girls out there and I am stuck with the user-not-friendly Caroline, she hit me today with a water bottle. (everyone laugh). Anyway, it's over.

It's nice Angie came again today. Surprisingly her bf (who also is a 1st Med student) is short and really average looking. Matching with ok-looking and energetic Angie, I certainly felt there is something not right. Maybe due to the fact that I am Libera tend to make things balanced. Just like Aim like I said in the previous blah. It is really just that. That part of the energy inspire the rest, at least that quality attracts me. Tell me about it I know nothing else. That's how people get attracted, at first sight what is good and positive get to see. I like WenBaiHu's definition about the difference and love and like. When you like someone you wish to have that good quality that attracts you, on the other hand love is unconditional blah. So that's exactly I don't believe in love.

It's like looping around into the status I was in 10 years ago when I was 11. Really much I asked Rinka, you had a sweet boyfriend, just before you are going to get married, he lost his leg. (even just one). Think twice, I suppose Rinka/Jenny they will all choose to leave their one leg bf and marry someone else.

The moral is going down. hey, what does bible say, submit to your husband. I am not sure if it's compulsory to marry someone that you have to love each other really. Not sure about bible. But in the rest of the world I know. The world is pretty bad, that is thinking negatively. But the truth is no one cares about you, really. Think twice. When you have fun, they will be with you, but when you are not. Eh-Eh.

I increasing realise that when i go to the revue, when i get to know more people, when I am having fun. But when you are not. na. Dam, I watch too much big brother, I am thinking things in a big brother way all the time now, some thing like alpha male, small cat, big cat. I am not saying it's harmful or anything. Damn. I am going to be 22, and yet I still need a lot of growing up to do. Not necessarily some parties to crash, some girls to screw. That sounds rude. Yes it is. I normally don't say things like that, but heck, it's meant to be personal right.

The show is on next Wednesday, I felt my dances are a lot more comfortable now, yet many things to improve. The assignment is due next Friday is it?

What to do after the revue and my documentary. I need to work. Do I think about it later or think about it now.

In the beginning there is suggestions that I should keep the iPaq, now it is the suggestion I should keep the 150 extra desposit. Weired. I think I would even if I know it's of low moral. But Liz somehow convinced me to keep quiet.

It has been a easy day, I don't feel much assignment at this stage. The show will be on next Wednesday, I just couldn't blieve it's all going to happen. All ready? Questionable? We are going to have 3 show runs on Sunday, and formal tech run Tuesday Night.

I have to agree, Kosol and I had a lot to talk about. We are easily get excited about the topic the ohter party initiated, that is ... not happening before. Well, it's cool to have someone to talk to. University is a wonderful place to know a lot of different people. I am very tired last night after rehersal stilll hav to finish HCI on time. About to make a laptop sale in 24 hours. Semi-excited. It is really busy, I have to say.

I discovered numerous things few days ago about the features of Blogger which made me myself happier with it. For instance the title line. In addition I also successfully created a place for myself to blog for the age 23. It's all cool now. But still I am asking myself, I made everything fancy as it appears, is it for me or for the public to see. If no one is going to see it ever why bother.

Yes, it does matter, as I can see. I do blog for myself, if someone sees it someone sees it. Sweet.

bohan.blogspot.com now used for expression at the age of 22

ON THE 28th Sep this expression at the age of 21 will move to bohan21.blogspot.com
In addition I like to announce, I love blogger.com I just established information-garage.blogspot.com it's great place for me to dump informations to. Convinient for web research.

Expression at the age of 21 is going to its end very soon as I am turning 22 in just 17 days. How scary indeed.

I love to blog more, but I am truly busy. Here is an email I wrote to Nanxi regard RAM updates

Dear Nanxi: (if you have time, please read, it's going to change your view towards ram upgrade)

Sometimes the type of the RAM has been over emphasized.

The price of a 256MB DDR can buy 512 general RAM
and yet about the performance, 256DDR is faster in single application, but not in quanttity.

So if you want to speed up your entire computer, and you like to have several application running at the same time.
I will defeitnly recommend PC133 512MB at the price of a 256MB DDR.

There are lots of myth about computers, and many of them are incorrect, such as DDR is better, DDR is better if provided 512MB DDR vs 512 PC133, since DDR runniing at 266MHz it is faster when you running photoshop.

BUT VERY IMPROTANTLY. one critical performance bottle neck is the hard disk, currently most hard disk running at 7200 Round Per Second, the faster hard disk on the market is the 15K = 15000 Round Per Second. AND GUESS WHAT, even that hard drive is 100 times slower than the slower PC133 RAM.

And how does computer work, when you click on internet exploer, it actually loads the internet explorer program from the hard disk to the RAM, that takes time depend on your hard disk speed and processor speed, then things remain in the ram, so that's why you feel sometimes things are slow to launch, once launched it feels better.

So how much ram is enough. NEVER. why?
windows needs approx 512MB for it's very normal operations, BUT I DON"T HAVE 512MB RAM, my computer still runs ok. THAT is because of the Virtual Memory, which is the computer use part of the hard disk, think them as RAM. but as I just staed, the fastest hard disk is 100 times slower than the slowest RAM.

Here is a typcial senario: you have 3 application running: WORD, EXPLOER, PHOTOSHOP

ok here is how much ram each one consume

SYSTEM - 200MB approx
WORD - 20MB approx
EXPLORER - 50MB approx
PHOTOSHOP - 100MB approx
OTHERS - 100MB approx

that is the computer needs 470MB
you only have 128MB

then you switch to PHOTOSHOP, ideally, it'll be best if all the photoshop sits on the ram, so processor can process it at its full potential.

BUt hey, you only got 128MB, so it will let photoshop uses 20MB of the RAM, leaves the rest 80MB on the hard disk, that makes your computer appears SLOW!!!!

When you have 1GB of ram, everything can be running in the RAM, then it'll be sweet.

So go with as many RAM as you can afford, since overall it saves life, improve effieciency.'


BOHAN. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I wish to do a million things at once, assignments, websites, revues, Natti, relationships. Those are just few. I just never got enough time to do all those. Talking about relationship, I think it's better if it's just going to end peacefully. I can't see myself marrying Caroline and having life like that. It was not meant to be. It's better we apart each other, to find someone who's better for our future. Full Stop.

However I do want to remain friends with Caroline, maybe it'll be better that way. Full Stop. It is sad to end a relationship like that, but if it's the right thing to do, do it sooner always better than later. I can't look after you any more, Caro. And I don't love you as much as I used to. It is all true. I don't love you enough to marry you. It might sound sad, it's better to reveal the truth before everything is too late, before we are 25.

OMG. CAUTION: hit REPLY ALL button really really carefully. I got myself into big trouble. Oh man, it's hard to tell a story. Better just copy and paste. READ IT UPSIDE DOWN, it makes the most sense. If I did read the very first email carefully enough, and plus if I didn't hit on reply all, things might be much better. Well, now this afternoon I have written 4,5 apology letters to all those who wrote to me. I realise I must pissed off many people. Oh, Bohan, it's a good lesson, it's a good time to grow. Think twice before you do anything.

From:
"Paul Michael Ayre" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
To:
bche562@cse.unsw.EDU.AU
Date:
Wed, 3 Sep 2003 13:17:34 +1000 (EST)
Subject:
Re: 12:20 PM - I am not complaining


In future, you should not be so selfish about this type of thing. You
should know that we are going to give performers equal credit. Any
questions along the lines of the ones you asked should be directed to
Kesavan or myself.
You have upset quite a few people,
I will let them know that you apologize
Paul
> Forgive me for being technically ignorant.
>
> I just hit reply all, without reading in the details
> of who's on the address bar.
>
> I am not aware of my action. I do apologize for my
> negligence.
>
> But all I want to say is I have no such intention.
>
> Bohan
>
> --- Paul Michael Ayre
> wrote:
> >
> > Hi Bo,
> >
> > You should NOT have sent that email to .all
> >
> > It is not your place to announce ANYTHING to that
> > list. THe only reason
> > the performers are not up there at the moment is
> > because K7 and I have not
> > gotten around to sending the web people our final
> > lists of performers.
> >
> > It was very disappointing that you would announce a
> > thing like that to
> > everyone. Especially to the web design people who
> > have just been doing as
> > much as they can to get the site up and running
> > today.
> >
> > I will talk to you about this tonight,
> > Paul
> >
> > > Everyone have a look at this page:
> > >
> > > http://cgi.cse.unsw.edu.au/~cserevue/teams.html
> > >
> > > You click on any of the
> > followings(Directors...Tech
> > > Crews), it gives you the real names of the people
> > > invovled.
> > >
> > > However, when you click on Performers, it gives
> > you
> > > NOTHING (THAT IS THE ONLY CATEGORY did not list
> > any
> > > names at all.) well, I am not complaining, however
> > as
> > > performer myself, we have been trained for many
> > hours,
> > > I think ALL OF THE PERFORMERS deserve to have
> > their
> > > name written on the Performers' tab. (ESP all the
> > rest
> > > category got their names written)
> > >
> > > Directors
> > > Producers
> > > Administrators
> > > Band
> > > Costumes and Makeup
> > > Designers
> > > Front of House
> > > FX
> > > Marketing and Sales
> > > Scripts
> > > Tech Crew
> > > Videos
> > > Well-Being
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > --- dopey wrote:
> > > > On Tue at 11:53 , Marc Yu-San Chee
> > > > wrote...
> > > > > Are we good to go guys?
> > > >
> > > > OATH! WE ARE LIVE!
> > > >
> > > > Thanks to a late night hacking session, by
> > > >
> > > > - Dave
> > > > - Rex
> > > > - Eli
> > > > - Myself
> > > >
> > > > we now have a new website design.. and loaded on
> > a
> > > > live location.
> > > >
> > > > Rock on over to
> > > > www.cserevue.org.au
> > > > (which just redirects to:
> > > > www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~cserevue/ )
> > > >
> > > > Now.. we realise that there may be some problems
> > > > with the team lists -
> > > > some people may be missing, and some extra
> > people
> > > > listed. Please, if
> > > > you notice problems like this, send a polite
> > email
> > > > about it to
> > > > cserevue.web@cse.unsw.edu.au.
> > > >
> > > > SWEEEET!
> > > >
> > > > -Matt
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > > =====
> > > Yours sincerely,
> > > Bohan Chen
> > >
> > > bche562@CSE
> > > ------------------
> > > Cell:(61)-(0)413767020
> > > MSN Messenger Account:
> > > chenbohan@hotmail.com
> > >
> > > __________________________________
> > > Do you Yahoo!?
> > > Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site
> > design software
> > > http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com
> > >
> >
> >
> >
>
>
> =====
> Yours sincerely,
> Bohan Chen
>
> bche562@CSE
> ------------------
> Cell:(61)-(0)413767020
> MSN Messenger Account:
> chenbohan@hotmail.com

// posted by Bohan @ 4:49 PM

Last night I was starting to miss Caro a bit. After 10 days no seeing each other. I miss her. She appears lovely now, since I didn't hear her yelling at me for some time. 18/36 wasn't plesant results for my first HCI assignment. However the tutor will scale it up according to other tutor's group's performance. But again it'll take a while. Tonight we can get our T-shirt and we'll going to wear it every single day. Can you belive it? Promotion is really important. Maybe I should get the HCI textbook.

On the same time, I need to find out more about NATTI training, my parents are now excited about the idea. I will certainly try. Many other great ideas. Have I written about the idea which is establish a website selling high quality ...yes I did. Last night I was watching the FX people's work. It was simply something I can't do and that makes me very interested. Indeed, it looks good even though not professional. It's going to be very fun.

It ended finally at 916. And instantly today 233 hits from 6 visitors. Then some ideas hit me straight, it'll be great opportunity for me to sell my documentary. After I screening my movie. I am going to set up a simple information site (beautiful as you can imagine) CSE REVUE (THE BACKSTAGE) contains *** pictures *** videos. $1.95 and then they think they are buying the pictures and videos of themselves. Yes it is true. However on the other hand, I will bondle my Movie in the disc as well, self promotion is done. That can ensure somewhat 10 copies + from revue people, if I can manage to sell 20 from the interview people. 30 Copies sold sounds good enough to me. And I just confirmed that 27th is the last day. It all sounds great. It's going to be a exciting month.

I was covered in Black from Head to Toe. I am not exergating or anything. Top, my head is covered by BLACK hair, then BLACK jumper, BLACK t-shirt, BLACK pants and BLACK socks, BLACK shoes. I am a man in black, I feel SEXY. WOW. I wish Caro can see me today to see how handsome her bf is. Well, look good makes me feel good. Well, I found most people notice my dramatic change on Sunday just by putting my hair up. In this respect I have 'superman' potential, two different looks by switching hair style and glasses. I need to weary glasses on the night?

I am more than pleased to know that in the end, the total hits on 31st Aug (US TIME) is 915 (26 visitors) it is simply a sound proof when you have the mass, the kind of power it generates. Anyway, I am also pleased to know that the last show of the CSE REVUE is right on my birthday. That is kind of special gift I can never dream of. Perform on the day I am 22 and get applaused at. (No to mention super party after the final show. I wish it'll be the case. It's going to worth all my efforts I am putting in right now. For sure I hope I can get few things sorted out before that day, like sell my Tablet, Get my shift regular, get my study under control, make my parents happy and hopefully a happy relationship. That'll be good, wouldn't it. 50 minutes to go before I have to attend the tut. Speed up.

The power of a group. Ever since I released the link to the revue photos, the hit rate goes to one and another history high. Today it reached it peak hit rate today 365 today, it'll go up to 400 before the mid night. 400 hits a day. That is mad, really it's all about people's passion to see themselves, if I say it's Bohan's photo porfolio maybe it'll be 40 not 400. However as you can see, that 400 hits goes majorly to the CSE Revue password protected folders, on the other hand, they might track a very small percent of people actually go into my other albums and untimately to my favorate links folder and come here. (Which would be approx 1% in 3 months duration). As I speak, the number goes up to 373. It is sheer joy for me as well to see those number goes up and up. 375 goes up by 2. That just the time I typed one sentence. I am amazed myself. Haha.

On the other hand, my film has to be delayed gives me more time to record more music and interview more people. Interesting to see what's the outcome. Before any of that, I need to fix my seng first.

There was a lot to write for this weekend. Main focus is the shift in weekly schedule and dual personalities and the big brother. Well, after involve in the Revue for so long now, every one is like a family now, create a nice atomesphere. However there are people has a strong will to show off or let's say to dominate, alpha beta. So really much big brother show does have its meaning inside. It also invovles pubilc acceptance.

That is not what I am interested to talk about. What am I interested is Aim. What I am impressed is her dual personality. That's true for many cases, someone can be like one person at one time and completly different other times. I am confused. For instance, on Satursday, while she is dancing, she is full of energy and lots of smiles that does greatly inspired the surrounding people include me, esp me. The passion you can see through your naked eyes. For once or twice, I thought Aim was very cute, a friendly and blah. However, the other part when the happy mood is gone, everyone has their normal side which can be less feminine and loving. However different person has their unique dynamic range. For people who has large dynamic range (in plain English) that is can be quite different in two instances are often brilliant or crazy or blah. For some reason I increasingly feel insecure, this seem not to be a private blog anymore despite the fact most people even given them the address they won't read more than 2 lines + the fact only 2 views it at the moment.

That is the question I talked about earlier which is who is the target audience, myself or for the public. Am I afraid someone into my personal blog for instance, I DON'T LIKE BLAH. however that run the risk one day if the person get read it, it will surely piss them off. But again that's when you assume that they are bother to ready your 10,000 words + blog from day 1.

Life in revue is very interesting. Now I felt slightly bad as some of my lines get cut, which still gives me quite bit above average stage time, but still I didn't get the most stage time. (well, as English is not my first language, for the current screentime I am happy). Can't wait.

On the other hand, there are more than I imagined to handle such as assignment SENG, they are going to kill me, my expertise is in Design, but till now I still didn't give them a good one yet. I have to do something or otherwise I will be DEAD.

Booking tickets seem important, tomorrow.

Last night was SPECTACULAR! It was and it finished very late about 11:30pm, so that makes me very sleepy by the time when I got home. Even though I have the intention to blog. Bottom line is I don't know what am I missing in the previous years, it was truly fun and inspiring. CSE Revue got to be better, actually I am going to be part of something SPETACULAR, that makes me very exciting, also makes me want to give the best performance to the audience.

The dancing and singing are beautiful, wait, have to go 9:18AM, take bus to school join the 10:00 -7:00 Rehersal. It' just like back to back shift.

Even though Kosol is nice enough to let me have the possibility to use Opera at SCHOOL. (It is great, Opera is so much better than the rest bunch) Anyway, however I running out of IP quota, so everything I use most often with Opera like the Wand Wizard for Yahoo and hotmail and dpreview. Quota is running out. Wah. Anyway, I just tried the new macro shooting ability that make me realise there are many many more possiblities, so maybe delaying isn't a bad thing. I can certainly shoot more footage like the revue crowd. (But what should I ask them to say)

Tonight is the exciting law revue. Caroline finished her assignment one, it'll be interesting to see the outcomes. I have to write to Jenifer to ensure that I can work on seng next week or so.

Work in two nights in a row earned me some 100 dollars. Caroline called me almost everyday. I met Kosol for HCI meeting, he is very friendly, we talk some joke share some fun. Very soon it'll be like 4 weeks nights all on revue. And I just found out that every Thurs the seminar room is booked by Comp Soc. Well, now I am in compsoc, I could very easily ask them to let me use the room from 5:30 to 6:30. However, I could also use it as a official delay to my movie. While working hard on the movie website, I can send that out stating the room vacancy problems and then later spend time on the film editing which could cost a lot of time. And I am sure it'll be better than in a rush.

News flash, internet crime, lots of liars around the world. People was right, if not careful I could be cheated. Tonight is the revue night, how exciting, lots of pictures and videos for sure. And an interview with vica as my last interviewee, actually not exactly. (Have to interview Jenifer, however she is currently upset by that 15/20.) Well, what can I do, get some more people??? Who to get? Eddie, that's it. But isn't it bit too late? I could if I wanted to. The more people the better isn't it. Wendy, she'll do it. (but she's not seng student). Angely and Siddar... I just need to get the number right. Maybe I should write an email to her.

It's all about quality and speed. Work.

OMG, I have to work tonight. I did already. But it came in a sudden. The interview with Ken is really good. I have to lock the camera and bag in FBE then went to work and I am working again tomorrow night. Um... pretty tired, but absolutely worth it.

Anohter liar. I am becoming much aquainted about those internet thiefs now. For instance, this morning, the guy said he urgently need one, he wants to ship today... I realise later on, those are all those thief's technics to make you ship without receive his payment. Wola wola, lucky I have Liz, we both working together. The point is make sure if the payment is there then ship. Don't do any business in a hurry. Hold on tightly to your own principle. I am growing in this sense absolutely.

Where do I want to go tonight?

In a early morning email to Rinka, I wrote:

I woke up particularly early this morning at 7:28AM by a phone call from Africa. Never mind. (Some business to do there) Well, that's how I got your message early in the morning.
...
...
In the next four / five weeks or so I would be totally engaged with my CSE Revue, a large scale comedy show (showing in School for 9 days in a row). Everynight from now on would be training night. Sat/Sun 10-7pm. (and next Saturday is the HORROR MOVIE SLEEP OVER NIGHT, all 30 performers(cast,include me) would be sleep over in our school of comptuer science and engineering watching horror movies (3 in a row) ... Summary: most nights of the upcoming 4 / 5 weeks will not belong to me but the Revue. But we would eventually have a estimated ticket sale of 3000+ audiences. As one of the 30 cast people, i am really happy to take part in cast, (It'll be on DVD shortly after 5 weeks). I will send you a copy. (it's so rude, but you'll laugh your head off). Where that's what I am doing at the moemnt, that's why I talk about it 24/7 (Q: when do you have time to do your study if you are out every night 4/5 weeks in a row? A: I have 5 1/2 days off. Even nights are occupied, I can still perfectly do my study during the day time of thos 5 1/2 days. (actually not true, as Sat/Sun is gone) make it 3 1/2 days.

My schedules as usual are visible to the world, but so far only two person knows the address
http://calendar.yahoo.com/bche562 (count yourself as one)

Believe or not, Caro and me went on a seperation trial for two weeks. We might be seperated after two weeks. (The relationship is going off for good, possibly, we are not sure yet) (Q: How? A: Explain later when I have the time and mood. In short, not suitable for each other in terms of life time long partner)
...
...
Woof.

BREAKING NEWS: EVERYONE! Actually only two people knows this address on 25 Aug 2003.

bohan-screenplay.blogspot.com is launched.

This week is Week 5, as I speak 25 Aug 2003

So This is the new rehersal schedules:
Week 5: Fri - 6.30pm
Sat - 10am to 7pm (even if you are not in a dance, come in to work
on acting with us)
Sun - 10am to 7pm
Week 6: Mon - 6.00pm to 9pm
Tue - 6.00pm to 9pm
Wed - 6.00pm to 9pm
Fri - 6.00pm to 9pm
Sat - 10am to 7pm (even if you are not in a dance, come in to work
on acting with us)
Sun - 10am to 7pm
Week 7: Mon - 6.00pm to 9pm
Tue - 6.00pm to 9pm
Wed - 6.00pm to 9pm
Fri - 6.00pm to 9pm
Sat - 10am to 7pm (even if you are not in a dance, come in to work
on acting with us)
Sun - 10am to 7pm
Week 8: SHOW TIME!!!
Week 9: SHOW TIME!!!

Um... Copying and Pasting is FUN. As you can see, that's 4 week's night is GONE!
Woof, I consider myself to be extremly lucky have 5 and half days off. Or otherwise I wouldn't be able to cope with my ordinary study life.

My documentary, when can it come out?? Hold on a minutes, that means I can only screen it on Thursday. Should I push myself to make it available on the 4th September? By booking a room. OMG. What a tight schedule. 4 weeks' worth of nights, I guarentee my parents would say something about it. How about compsoc newsletter online. It better be good.

well, 15/20. That is a distinction, however Jennifer seems not completely happy with that. Woof, we need to work harder to get high distinction. So I guess tonight I have to devote a lot of time on it. Yep.

Mm.. met a interesting girl after interview with Dicky. Invite her over for next week's screening as well. It's the second day for the seperation trial. At this stage I don't know what's going to happen in the end. I know I am going to interview ken wed, sam thursday and vica friday. The wonderful revue on Friday Night.

Talking about revue tonight is the first night of law revue. Yes, talking about girls, a quick guy talk this lunch time. Mark basically said why not pick up, (pick up a new phrase for me) why not pick up in the revue (crew)? Then they say ** is working on beck, then Mark indicate Beck is old @ 22. OMG, 22 is old, how young you guys want, 19 / 18 maybe. Woof woof. It actually ain't bad idea pick up in the revue (crew).

Recently to my surprise, Dicky has a girl friend Debora for 5 months now. I will descibe Debora semi-hot, Dicky not-hot. I am sorry Dicky, you see I don't mean to offend you. That is the thing, if I were given out my photo album link, people will see the link to this blog, however they do really need itnerest to discover and read all few thousands words blog in order to find some particular information.

So back Dicky, score, yes that's what they will say in the revue team. Score. And Harold had lunch with me and Christina(a moderate girl). Just need few hours to get the film all together, of course, first of all need to get the seng straight.

Many things to deal with, I suppose. Esp working hours, Good news is Liz is going to work 12 days in a row. 2000AU. AH... That's sort of hours I needed. Few good shots today.

Here is a transfer. I use to want to archive every single email I received or sent. I STILL WANT TO. However due to the physical limitation, I QUIT. I have select what to store what to throw away. So there you have it. 4MB + 2MB for the rest of session. I increasingly prefer webbased email as you don't need to worry about back up, it just never crash on you, your address book and emails are at safe hand. You can always retrieve them. However they are just SMALL in terms of storage. Whatever.

That's my luck. After talking to Liz for a while found out she is just upset that I do things on her computer without telling her. She is ok with me using her computer just need some respect. As I said to her, in normal condition, computer meant to be personal, allow another person use the computer is something unusual. I appreciate that her effort in letting me use the fast computer to tide over some difficult period. So after 10 min conversation it is all cool. I back where I am, just no more emails on Outlook Express (reduce risk of virus). Virus is truly bad stuff. It destroys all the efforts. I need to install Fire wall tomorrow. Time.

Anything can't be excess, I shouldn't consider Liz's machine as my own. Overall it is not. However not to use it cause great grief as I lost a very efficient tool of what I am doing. I am desperate. Ah... It is one of those things ... basically I expressed the idea that I am sorry and that I appreciate that Liz let me use her machine. But I really don't have to resource to buy myself a decent work station. It seems I really need one urgently. Maybe I should buy off Caroline's old HP. I don't know what should I do. However for my film, website and photos, this machine is essential. I'm feeling sorry.

Yesterday the wind is hilarious. 100KM/Hour. Killed 1 in Sydney. Laurie me and Lizzie went down La Perouse, woof, you won't believe it. It's just huge I fall down.
Then Caroline came, in the end she agreed with a seperation trial. i hope it'll be a win win situation. Who knows what will happen in two weeks time.

Find out the lecture this afternoon is cancelled which will give me time to read the 8 pages blah.
Reading about the my Pine, found out some really old email. Good stuff. Paste here. (The magic of old letters)

From: "Bohan Chen"
To: "'Rinka Guo'"
Subject: 2001 SESSION ONE
Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2001 21:58:44 +1000

Dear Rinka,

Here goes my first session first year. It was hard. Harder than I
thought.
I survived with my two maths: Higher Maths 1A & Discrete Maths. I GOT
TWO CREDITs FOR THEM. OH< YEAH.
However, besides that I got two passes for my another two subjects which
are Higher Computing 1A(the most exciting subject) & Business Database
Management (the most boring subject). Thank God, I survived first
session. I will study much harder next session to secure my double
degree. (Since school requires double degree student achieves a weighted
average of the first three years' score above Credit Line which is 65%).
Fail one subject will cost you precious half year time and around 800
pounds. No one can afford it.

I felt quite stressful sometimes, especially when assignment is due on
Sunday, but you still need to work on Saturday. I am very content with
my job. As you know, the caf� is close to my house(very close), and
every week I always work on the same day for same amount of hours. It is
just stable. I am planning to buy a CASIO electronic piano due to the
fact that I am becoming more and more enthusiastic about piano, about
BACH, about classic music. 200 Pounds will easily give you a powerful &
versatile electronic piano with sensitive touching (if you press softly,
the sound is soft. If you press hard, the sound is louder). Why not buy
one for yourself, I believe that playing piano is 100 times better than
check email four times a day. Rinka, Rinka, don't you love Music? Come
on, give it try. Inspire yourself again. Just imagine when you are
depressed by the pressure around you, when you feel alone, when it is
keep on raining. Close all your windows, (OH NO, you are in Summer, I
almost forget), OPEN all your windows, Plug in your piano, Piano
Concerto No.5 E Major, BACH will make you as peaceful as sheep, as
dynamic as Lara Croft. (TRULY, every night before Lara Croft went to be,
she does Benji Jumping accompanying with BACH, Piano concerto in F
Minor, if you watched the movie you'll know).

There is one thing that I like about Sydney is its weather. We are
suppose to be Winter now. However, I cannot find any feeling of winter
at all. Sydney's winter is always like autumn. That's amazing, isn't it.
This time in Canberra is really freezing. How's London?

Finally I am in holiday, but I am not that happy and relaxed as I
expected. I am disappointed with it. I want to purchase a powerful
Cambridge PC speakers. At around 50 pounds, I still need to think about
it.

I need to work again Saturday. I don't want to work. (maybe I am still a
boy)
Bye for now. Are you in Holiday? Maybe not. Perform well for your
studies.

"Too many cosmetics will increase the number of pimples. "
-- Bohan Chen, Software Engineer


Your sincerely

Bohan Chen
---------------------------------------------------------------------
School of Computer Science & Engineering
University of New South Wales
Sydney, Australia

-To fear the worst oft cures the worse.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Doesn't have dinner on time does give me a long hard time till 12am (stomache).
Glad that cable come back to life at the cost of 30AU. I hope the anti-virus doesn't scan apple again. Once tonight sometime I was deeply hope tomorrow I don't have to go to cast, so I can accompany Caro to the movie, overall we haven't went out like this for a while. I am certainly looking forward to it.

Laurie gave me some new film, it was nice of him. I think I will take good use of it tomorrow. (maybe). Hanson is my new group member. In one email I wrote to him today I said you are the only person who shot my pictures than I did in the last one and half years. 5000 pictures. Pretty impressive. However, I don't think anyone will look through all his pictures since the server is damn slow and the way the picture is presented is poor. Sorry Hanson, but I have to point out your photo album will receive low marks in heuristic evaluation conducted by COMP3511 Human Computer Interaction. Wake up early.

Very sleepy. However 2 things need to tell. + Fotki.com member ship now starting, it will end 21 Aug 2004. What a good news. Unlimited Photosharing for a year.

- The stupid thing is that this months quota is gone approx 900MB has been used by anti-virus scanning apple.com, how stupid is that. it's my fault, i didn't specifiy clearly enough which drive to scan. It just scanned everything.

28K Dial-up is painful, and we have to live with it for the next 9 days. Wu..

The emails are back which is a good news, takes painful 2 hours in the shop though + 30AU.
We got a new microwave after we burned our old one few days ago. I formed a group with a 4th year for HCI, it'll be good. Tomorrow assignment due. Need to focus tonight.

Going to Microsoft Headquarter tonight is sort of mistaken. The expeiriences, DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL WHEN YOU ARE THIRSTY, it's just the worst thing you can do. Well, they sure have a lots of Xbox games. The demostration of Xbox live truly impressive with live talk with the players in the states. In addition, Moreover, we met hot chick in the office, Caroline, graduated in INFS from a university not even heard of in IT, some Catholic University. I really think that her pretty face helped a lot in getting into Microsoft. Maybe I am jealous, since I am not belonging to the 'beautiful people'.

Back to the focus, I got a headache by drinking alchohol when I am thirsty, and by playing lots of video games after that. The headache only goes away few minutes ago. SECOND, most importantly, I lost my tripod there. Looking positively, I can buy a new one soon. Which I wanted to do for ages.

Today's interview went well, however I doubt I can finish the assignment tonight, I will try certainly. The new mouse worked well after some tuning. It's a beauty. I am not sure why the computer doesn't shut down properly. So long as it works. I am eagerly waiting for the next updates.

I don't feel as bad as yesterday, I began to forget about the happy parts. What ignites me to start this is from Ctrl + Tab. We all know when you want to swtich window from IE point of view you use Alt + Tab, since each webpage is a seperate window. However Opera took differnt approach, everything within application, called Tab. Then swtich between tab is definelty now Alt + Tab. Then, sometimes I am use to IE, so I do Alt + Tab, that switch me off the application completely.

1 minutse ago I was have a conversation with myself, wouldn't it nice, if I can swtich pages within opera as easy as Alt + Tab. Something like Ctrl + Tab will do. Then I tried. And it worked. I feel so amazed. Only one conclusion, great minds think alike. ^.^ hehe.

Had a brief Harold last night about his super-sensitivity about marks. Even at university level, Harold cares mark as much as in high school. So I bascially told him, we aim differntly. We'll see.

The password and username bring Martin to me for the first deal, which isn't bad, I am certainly expect more. As for tonight, go to Microsoft Headquarters is a exciting thing to attend, my only worries are my HCI assignment and emails to ken still not finished yet. Better stop now and go back to work.

Wow, waking up to be notified, YOU WILL BE SUED. Dr Josh again threatens to sue me. What a nasty person indeed. Now I seriously need to consider whether worth my effort on this bastard. It'll be completely waste of my energy only get myself concerned what he'll do. I will win the cse, if there ever to be such law suit. Now I sort of understand eminim. Call your lawyer, fire me a lawsuit. Ok, ok. he is just like Grace, never acknowledge... what can I say, not civilised. Back to the lawsuite, if he did fire one, it'll be civil and I will win. But the effort and harrasment caused by this is really not worth my effort. It's all about choices.

My choice to wait for him to pay. My choice to leave negative feedback. If really everything is done. The choice is already made, all I have to do is to understand it. I can't.

I can't understand the choice i made 5 weeks ago. I should state firmly if payment not finalised within 3 days, the deal is off. That's a wrong choice, a wrong turn. I can not understand it. Hence the matrix theory doesn't apply here. I think I will have a whole lot of bad incidents happening to me before the age 22. Yes 22 years old.

In another word, i am not happy in my current situation. And humans are emotional animals. 2900AU and threatings of a lawsuit. I wonder what's next. A breakup?

Evil talk time: well, just sent some invitations for next week's interview schedules. and I allow them to choose either to take a Video Interview / Paper Interivew.

You see some people would be shy to take on Video, however if I manage them on it, regardless, they will buy a copy in the end. The purpose of taking pictures of everyone is for the ending credits part to thank them participating in the project. However, I didn't reveal that it is also a double sided sword.

Thinking about the year book for your high school. Even though your head only appears a tiny bit on the year book, even only once, you would spend 12 dollars on a book you don't read for the rest of your life. Imgine now you have a properly taken picture on a properly made movie for just 3 dollars. You would much more likely to buy a copy if you see your picture in it. I have to say it is a marketing strategy. Hence I have to make sure to squeeze as much as people in the video as well. That's why I call it evil talk. Really much all those issue sits on back of the brain Level 3. Normally speaking people don't think below level 2. If you ask what do I mean by level 3 or level 2. I just made it up, so you don't have to worry about them.

I think I am evil, but also I want to ensure success in terms of copy distribution. 3 dollars each isn't much. I got myself 4 orders, from Jerry and Fred and William. Oh, now that'll be 6 copies already. Guess what Aim will want it too. So there are estimated 8 copies on order.

I need to sell 20 to make any sense here. 60 dollars of revenue. It is a good record for documentary films. Oh, yes, Brett and Cate, that'll be another 2 orders minimum.

So 10 copies looking good. Need to secure 10 other copies. Sharon, yes, another one or two.
The possibliyt is endless.

TARGET AUDIENCE: I am asking myself many times during the procedure, who am I bloggeing to. Me Myself or the general public. When I write something do I imagine I am writing an essay or host a talk show. By the way, I will be presenter pretty soon in the show you are all waiting for CSE Revue 2003. Enough is enough. I love bloggering. It is fun and easy.

Talking about bad bad day. I found it's very hard to dealing with ...
DR JOSH. He wants to sue me if I leave a negative feedback on his ebay account. It's so funny as he said you are threaten me. In reality that's himself. I have only one word for him, a complete ASSHOLE! You see normally I am not a rude person at all. But this time, this guy is really an ASSHOLE, that I don't even bother go into details to describe it. (Since it'll be completely waste of my time) But trust me, I am going to leave a negative feedback after I consult with Liz and Ebay. I would that's what he deserves. Why bother.

Just tons of anger reside in my heart. Well, the revue training goes well, flawlessly, I just need to know my lines, better. I need to finish my first assignment on time. Many things I want to talk to myself, seemingly lack of time and lots of incidents. Give me a break, let me finish my job.

Bedroom becomes a place only to sleep. My interest shift heavily on Compaq Evo these days. I am not sure if it's good or not. I am live in a very werid situation. I don't know what is happening. I am turning 22 soon, am I?

HORRIBLE DREAM REVEALED: well, before I go into any details. Here is Caroline bugging me again on MSN. It is a loop. One after another, makes me very hard to concentrate on what I am doing. Very hard to concentrate indeed. Actually the converst..

The conversation is about some personal issues.

I have so many things happening in the last 24 hours. I want to talk about the dream, only if I write it down I can depict it perfect. However I can't do it due to the conversation I just had, it makes me not in the mood describing anything. I like Fotki.com, but again I have no feeling.

It is a year of choice, or change, maybe Yyevvet was right, I need it. At stage, saying anything would be too early. The bad loop I don't want to get into again. I need have a quick hand on the block hand and the telephone set.

Yet again, issues, issues. Why? I have question mark in my head as well. It's like harde than the math problems. It's like a myth. It's like destinty that I might be able to change with my mere hands.

Days went by fast, tomorrow another full day training, what should reside in my mind. A directionless term. I need a way out soon.

I am drunk. 3 bottles only, still drunk. I am typing. I can't go to bed now, otherwise I will puke. I havne't drank for so long. And damn VB is strong. Hehe. It might be my first time typing while drunk, haha. Go Revue.
I want to kiss everyone.

I was looking at a black cat on Friday I think. 24 hours after I paid 2900AU to the bad guy.

It is nice to see the white cat tonight on my way home. She/he snuggled towards me. Yes SNUGGLE. I love to use that word. It was very hot compare to few days ago of Sydney's Weather. I was sweating while walking around in CBD. The POWERHOUSE MUSEUM is really great. I throughly enjoyed it. Taken lots of videos and images. It's really eye-pleasing site.

Then I rush to School, pipe 16:00, Wiliam is not there! Well, I try to calm myself down. 44 minutes later he came, we had a long interview. It was all good then.
Now I am trying to download the video and really get into the shower ==> later script writing. Has to get started on Ken's question too.

Can't miss out interesting events. Today our Microwave is on fire. Well, it goes to cook on brown ice for 30 min non-stop. When we open the door, fire comes on. And smoke is anywhere. That makes sense doesn't it.

Now I understand, why people choke to death in a fire instead of burn to death. Because of the smoke caused by the fire is really choking. Even a little bit can make you dizzy I suppose. Anyway we carried the mircowave outside.

Computer wise, new virus attack, we have to restart the new machine and blah. JJ's computer seems not working well at the same time. I suggest her buy a new burner and anti-virus software. She is having interview with Coles Myres this Friday. Wish her good luck. I am confident she will get it.
Tomorrow Morning, I am going with Caro to a Museam for a Assignment of Human Computer Interaction. That'll be good.

I am thinking about the title: Expression at tthe age 21. Soon enough I am going to turn 22. What a scary truth. I always think I am 21, and soon I am going to turn 22. That's really sad. Anyway, I went to the Big W again on Saturday and the to my rage, the management didn';t put me on the roster when I needed it the most. And there is a new department manager called Rod kindly record down my details and determined to look into it. Hopefully it is the care. NEvertheless, there is a nice lady ask me to work on Tuesday Night 5-8, 45 dollars, not bad. I will go. I crave money so much now. Even if I do that to make lack of 2900 is still a very vrey hard job as a full time student. Seng really went smooth, everyone seem have their speciliaty, Aldo is good at using latex producing pdfs. Richard is the the java genius. I am the design boy. Heha. That wasn't bad at all. I feel quite comfortable at this stage. I swore to work harder in the furture as they did. A distinction again for SENG. Yes. About HCI, I am not sure when am I going to visit the Museam, maybe during Tuesday Day Time then go home after 3. Have a short rest go to work. That'll make TUesday fully packed. Why not? I will certainly try that. Hold on, what about the tutorials allocations then. I need to work it out soon. So I have nothing on Wednesday. Better go on Wedesday Morning.

If any one ask me where did I found this. I will say thanks to SMH, sydney morning harold's ICON, which is a tech newspaper I read every Saturday. It keeps on surprising me. It really did. I really enjoying bloggering now. Largely due to its convinience and I don't have to worry about backup. It will not crash. Having this in mind is so cool.

There are millions people I know don't have such habbit of backing up stuff. Yet again, every year they reinstall their system. So where did their documetns go. ALL GONE. and indeed, backup is as hard as you could imagine if you never have a plan. And currently there are lots of good backup softwares, however all requires efforts to learn. Even hard disk loading (imaging) is not easy enough. I really realy want to write another page about the Backup Myth. Yes, that's true. The backup myth page.

By the way, I met Walid, my working colluges Satursday, he likes my Mega Pixel Myth page as well. It is great idea. wait till you see the movie site. It takes time, last night I worked till 12. For some reasons I just hate... even 1 pixel difference in the navigation bar can cause me grief. Design = I need to call Martin up. Tonight.

Rehearsal, damn, I want to read more books. My written English will face its biggest challenge ever, the screen play. Without Liz, my script will be dead. Coincidentatly Liz is passionate about vocal talent role. I really print out. Shall I list tablet on Ebay again. A good thing is Caroline starts copying now. A good sign. yes, it worked. That is, last night sending to 11 people did work. YES. ^.^ NEVER EVER FAIL.

Another busy day. Tomorrow I am fully packed. Today during the break I thought for a long while about the whole permernant resident scheme. I have been doing a lot of SENG work tonight. I still need to work on my own movie site. I found time isn't that ample this sememster. And I hardly feel any study going on, yet again the time always gone so soon.

I need do something quick. I don't know what it is. Isn't that strange.

The WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST ME! That's exactly what I felt now esp after phone calls to my mum about my financial situation. It just happened all the bad things come together. I thought I was in a sweet position just a month ago. Now I am in a very awkward situation, let me tell myself what went wrong:

1. 2900AU missing
2. 15000AU required at the end of the year which is hard
3. Dr.Josh is not paying
4. Big W doesn't give me regular shift
5. Not sure if I can make industrial training possible.
6. My girl friend does not support me, are not capable support herself.

How much worse can things go. Maybe I should confort myself, "You are still young and healthy, you can do anything." The key question is money and status, esp after listen to Microsoft's speech. We take the top to the states. Oh, yes. It's really a mixed feeling here. That's the direction everyone is pulling. I should write a book about the complex issue pull and push. Damn. Damn. I didn't touch much study materials. I don't know what has happened. Really, it's all mixed up now. Do I have to calculate again. OH NO. It's just too hard. Oh, God how can I tell my parents under this kind of situation. How, tell me how? I just can't tell.

Well, that is painful as well, don't you think. Really it's like a 360 degree turn starts with the afternoon I sent money out. Can I still remain cool? I think I should sleep early tonight for a busy day tomorrow. What shall I do tomorrow afternoon. Maybe 2 HD will be able to save me. It will help certainly. Try some of it then.

I just lied to my Grandpa in one email stating I am in a fine mood. What kind of fine mood is it. A very bad mood. But I can't tell my grandpa who lives a thousand miles away. Grandpa, I have really really a bad mood, my girl firends doens't love me. What shall I do? Nope. Not going to do that. My parents won't belive it either that Caroline doesn't really love me.sdflkjdslkkjlldlkj;adsfkljflas;kdjfl;kasjdfl;kajsd;lfkjas;ldfja;ldkfjl;aksdjf;alskjdf;lksadjf;laksjdf;lajsdf;lkjsdl;fkjasd;lfkjas;dlfjas;ldfjas;ldfj- that describe my feeling very well.

Oh, my my my. What a strange day. Recently strange things happen to me quite often. I was in absolute shock and awkward postion few hours back.

So the story goes: (in case I forgot later) Cici is my friend (female), who is leaving Australia tomorrow (for a long time at least) and wish to spend some time with me today as well as take some pictures together.

Caroline needs to talk to me, I said I need to go to see Cici, since if I don't go today, I will not be able to see her in a year or two or more. Caroline says I shouldn't go because she needs to talk to me. But I still went. She called me ten times during the first 5 minutes I met Cici and her friend Jennet.

ACT I: For a long time I wasn't acting stupidly. Today I did, because caroline keep on ringing on my pocket, I wasn't even listen to what Cici said. Makes me very very slow in understand some very basic conversation. "Are you all right, Bohan".."What happened to you, Bohan, are you ok?"... Then that annoying mobile being switched off by me. Then Caroline called Cici. Say want to talk to me. Then she goes she watns to talk to me for 20 minutes, I said I am not going with Cici to city, that means I will be back in 1 hour time. We can talk then. Caroline obviously has the intention to destroy Cici's last day in Sydney. She said no she wants it now. With Cici standing 3m away completely bewildered what has happened. I hang up the phoen again. Shortly after the phone (Yes, Cici's phoen rang again. Caroline called on Cici's mobile again wants to talk to me.) I said it's uncool to call on other people's mobie. She surely doesn't give a damn. Then ACT II:

"Cici, I think you should turn off your mobile for a while". That's the most awkward moment of the year. Caroline demonstrates her extreme selfishness and evilness to me today. She completely doesn't care about other people.

Bettter yet, after she's done all this, few hours later. She said " I should forgive her " (straight away) since it's no big deal. What I trying to say that moement is, your moral standard is low. Normally you go to donate your blood, consider other people... but whenver you are not happy, you can destroy other people's life without sorrow. What can I say, the heart is just not admiring. She doesn't have admiring qualities. At one moement, she is 100% bitchy. I am so angry. Plus, she keep on asking to break up with me. over and over and over. Should I? One thing I know that is don't make decision when you are hot headed.

However, increasingly evidence, include her own confession that she doesn't love me. She stick with me is because she doesn't have other close friend, and in this situation she needs someone close that's all. What a JOKE!. It's really a sad story to tell. A 100% immature gf doesn't love myself for so long.

I don't know what's going to happen nor do I have the ability to have a peep at the future.(near). I am in pain, anger (more like it). What shall I do, 2900AU loss + a crazy gf going even crazier. I think I need to go to the doctors ask for professional help. However my film has to come out, my revue has to be performed live. I still have to get 2 Distinctions, 2 Credits. I still need to ... Now I undertsand Tiger Woods perfectly.

What's to do with Tiger Woods? The news often said, the unsteady relationship Tiger had previously has large affect his perfromance in the TGP tourment. It could very well be the case. Too bad, we only live once.

Entirely a loop. I am personally suffering from it over and over again. It is utterly unreasonable. That's what I feel when dealing with Caro. Repeated unreasonings and extreme childishness.

Down to the bottom is not able to carry the responsibility as an adult. I need find some professional help. Go into one of those places. One questions presented, if one party keep on being unreasonable, should you spend time fix it, or like it less.

Another rgument. You can never use logic with girls. They don't think. (Seems a statement will annoys a lot of people). Anyway, tonight I told Guo Shu Qiao (Jill, Juliana) that I liked her for 15 years now. and it goes ... for no particular reason I did it. And I told her now we are adults we should be able to handle our childhood feelings much better and face it calmly. That's it. I expressed my foundness towards Guo Shu Qiao 2003 Aug 6. which I should have done 15 years ago. bit like a fiction ^.^

Ok, like any tide, it will fall and participate. What am I talking about. Finally the interview took place, I didn't realise how fluent it goes. Now the hard part really lies on the cutting. To find one particular phrase and put them together ain't easy even with a super fast computer. Maybe I need to buy some more ram. Making film and its website now is ever more exciting. Forgive my poor English. To pass NATTI needs 70% of more to earn just 5 immigration mark if I need it.

Well, well, it's a great expirience to interview people. As well as making it. ALl I need to do now is to get the script right, making few skits (2 I am thinkining). Plus I am inspired by the United Airline's website about my film website. It's all exiciting. I feel like that I am a fulll time media student. Really much where are all the assignments. I need to work on them do I?

One assignment is unbelivably ask you to go to the museam and that is for a comp3511 subject. Do I ever want Caroline to be slimmer just because I want to be more physically attracted to her? Ask yourself.

"You screw yourself, because you like to think in this way... and dickhead that's what her friend call you. because you are sick ass. I don't think you are going to do that. You have tendency of violence. Are you really going to send to your friends, I am asking you. You never going to enjoy it, fat ass. One moment, we are loving each other... one moment we are just l.. you shut the fuck up... ok? I recommend you that ... why you are doing that? I am asking you why you doing that ... I don't like the way you do things, if you are going ... ok,if you are going to do this, we are not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend any more...see you later bohan, take care." -- Caroline Bojun Zhang, 1:00 AM 2003 - 07 - 31

I love the new blogger. Simple and straight forward. Now I am back to Founder. Every computer appears in the lecture theatre seems so good to me. Today I went on my first day of shooting. Though not arranged, turned out to be excellent with many good shots can be used in the movie. Interesting enough, in the beginning I was heavily worry about the hard disk space issue as 1 hour video .avi cost 15GB, how on earth I can manage to get those space. I have to thank windows media player which did a excellent job on it.

I have goals. I have goals. I am not feeling 100% now largely due to the 2900AU deal. In addition, because my lifestyle again become strange, as I did not eat home for three nights in a row. And you can imagine the pressure I got from my dad about that 15000 and 16000 interest issue. Below are my goals:

I want to finish the film. I must finish it.
I want to be the live performer, no matter how long it's going to take, if I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it forever.
I want 2 Dinstinction and 2 Credits.
I want 15000 Bank Balance on 31st December 2003.

I want I have regular exercises twice a week. (probably the easiest goal in all).

Those are my goals, I need to achieve them one by one using approriate plans. Right time management.
About reforming the groups, the fear and other uncertainty makes me feel ill. John Plaice is a bastard. Yes allow me. He doesn't care about the students, he doesn't care to help us learn, instead you can imagine, he is acting like a lunatic boss with lots of mean behaviours.

One thing I worried the most for my film is actually my English. Being the screen playwriter, to write something potentially hundreds people going to see isn't easy. And all is going to be done in 25 days. That's goal number one.

However on the way to achieve goal one, do not let things get in the way of achiving goal two and three, even four.
My words are over. Pray ebay is going to help me.

With only 1.5 days worth of Lectures and tutorials. 2 days a week study, 5 days a week rest. Amazing timetable, never happened before in my life. However this half year meant to be tough for me. To be frank, I am not sure if I can get that 2900AU back from someone named Alan, possibly a fake name. On the other hand, I need industrial placement and some mark to get myself a WAM of 65 and above. It's a shallow tide hiding the potential danger.

Harder yet, to confess my sins to my parents. I think about happy scrathies more often nowadays. I understand why people gamble, partially because they are desperate. As for me, a laptop into the water. I am still positive and I will keep it in this way. I will also influence the people around me to be +, in particular my love, Caroline. Let's see what can we achieve.

History is making fun of myself every single minutes. Just look what I wrote on 14 July. Well, I feel empty now as well. As a matter of fact even though my life become full of life shortly after 18th July, soon enough. It becomes empty again. To be exact 2900AU emptier. What an ironic story. Life has to go on, even though it will strike me sooner or later. Who likes pasta?

It was empty yesterday, now it become full of surpises. Powerbook is everywhere in my brain now. Not anything else. I just wish the buyers can pay faster. Caroline is upstairs watching Adolf Hitler. We had food in the city tonight. Met Vivian on the bus. Woof. Well, what's my plan tomorrow. Finally I decided to print all those pictures out. Yes all of them.

Empty. Still Empty. Tomorrow is the judgement day. I want to make it. A direct confrontation with Amir. I need to make it happen. Once I think I am over this issue. But it hangs there every now and then, it just won't go away let me concentrate on whatever I am doing. 1:30AM. 8 hours later, it will be it. Let me face it. As ACC chanel said, you have to have the right perspective. The right perspective makes things better. Magnify the positive. Trust in your Lord. I have to admit, it is just always there, this kind of feeling is different from all others. I will make it. Here I am praying. Not necessisarily to God as Liz told me. Just pray.

Need to go to the beach. Yes, the beach.

Alone, on MSN for three days now. Ever since my chenbohan@hotmail.com crashed, MSN seems so quiet unbelievable. It's funny that my mum cuts me off few nights before.

Before. Yes, choice as Yyevvet stated. All about choices.

Empty, with uncertainty. I don't think I am particularly worried about something consiously at the minimum. It is my sub-consious making me feel nervous. After exam, I wasn't hopping and jumping as I imagined before the exam. Instead I feel empty. Maybe because of the industry training, maybe because of I have nothing to do, maybe because of Caro. I have no idea.

Tonight, i went to big W trying to work from 5:45 to 8:45 as it said on the roster. However, no work whatsoever. I just went there and being rejected. "The shop is closed in 10 minutes", said Lisa. Well, what can I say. I kinda feel a mixed. (a mixed feeling) One hand, I feel bad wasting time to go there, on the other, I don't particularly feel like working tonight.

When I got home, Liz's computer crashed. The new one without any particular reason. She is pretty depressed, nothing is backed up yet. To get the data out, need an external enclosure. Laurie is here tonight. Poor Liz. About the double degree it's coming closer ever since. It is about to come to reality. Five years, with the fourth year completely doing commerce. hey, it's not bad. However, I feel uncertain. I feel not secure.

I don't know. I am not happy as I projected. But empty. A feeling feels familiar. Pushing hard in which directory.

Blog now is so easy for me to do. TOday is Friday. Finished my 3 hours accounting exam few hours ago. found it harder than previous years. Besides Jenny's 'Genius' friends found the exam easy beyond measure. The people in my exam location that is derby found it as I did. 'hard than previous years' I left one or two question blank, still should get a pass.

Now I am really mad about that idea. The idea of getting a brand new powerbook. That's so cool. Almost unbelievable thought. Sell my tablet pc and get a powerbook. 3149. The deal is real with unbeatable super drive. Mac OSX that's always what I wanted. Can't wait, can't breath. DVD burner please. I want to have it tomorrow. Tomorrow right in front of my eyes.

Well, still going to prepare rest of my exam. I feel pretty relaxed now maybe due to the fact I am finished accouting and ssdi. 2 more to go makes my heart feel lighter. maybe because ADS allows supplementary whereas the other one I already go 50.5 hahahaha.

Well, I will be writing blog using powerbook very soon. ^.^ Feels just right.

It actually looks good. So here I am again. Posting some more on the same day. I am sure with my policy now. Once posted don't re-edit or re-post the same article. Good choice. Talking about my holiday plan. (though i know it's not a good idea to talk about holiday idea before all the exam is over) well, moon picture, enlargement, present to friends, portaint picture , 17mm wide angle pictures, maybe melborune with lover (in this case,caroline) and preview comp3*** computer human interaction. Good choice. Better go now for my accouting final.

Supposingly in 24 hours time, I will be sitting somewhere in a Racing course doing my 3 hour accounting 1A exam. However for some reason my butt now is reluctantly stick on the chair. I am trying to force myself to do some study on accouting, I know it's hard. For some reason unconsious I can't calm down right now.

What i try to do is cover things up. You see web log meant to be original. After you post article, you can just leave as it is. Forget about spelling and so forth. Just post and it is there forever(maybe as long as the website goes).

On the other hand, it is a world wide publication (yes, you are right) 10 years ago. It's almost impossible to publish world wide besides the olympic. Anyway, yes, so the quality is important. But if you do spend lots of time worrying people who reading your article think you are a freak or ... that will dramatically reduce your tendency to post more regularly.

Hence, I decided no matter how S*** is my writing, I will post as it is on this website(ONLY) since I do want publish some decent writings on my personal website. So what I will do is i call this personal diary, and provide a externl link to the site from my personal site which contains polished enlgihs articles and picture (hopefully) that sounds good.

Ok, Good efforts to my accouting final exam. May the force be with me.

Monday. 51 Hrs : 29 Mins left before SSDI assignment is due.
+24 Hrs, is my ACCT1501 Final.

All these words. All these cases. Oh, yes, even when you are really busy, you can blog.
web log. Why it isn't called web diary.

Busy as you can imagine, I still go to dpreview once or twice.
May the force be with me. Post.

Python, is many people's friend. But not mine. Webblog Trial1. Publishing: Quark Express, InDesign2.0. Apple, Apple, OSX. Publisher No Match. Keywords. Rinka, Bojun. @ ACCT1501.
Contact: CSE/BCHE562

I can publish anything, can't I?
Quality Control?
QA.

BOHAN -- A RANDOM NOTES GENERATED AT 8:33PM AUSTRALIAN ESTERN TIME
JUNE 2003 14th